The Suzume House Audit
A rigorous chronicle of tactical growth and the management of a high-risk, low-motivation Lalafell asset.
Greetings to the discerning few who have found their way to this ledger.
I am Akiudo, daughter of the Suzume Merchant House. I have spent the better part of my recent years managing—which is to say, traveling with—one Donezo Gonezo. He is a Dunesfolk Lalafell who possesses a physical capacity that far exceeds his modest dimensions. However, as an asset, he is currently... under-utilized. He would much rather allow his “lazy rear” to remain in a state of permanent hibernation than apply his strength to the tasks at hand.
[The sound of a sharp, elegant exhale.]
One does not simply let a high-potential investment go to waste. As the world rarely sees fit to save itself, I have determined that a public chronicle—this “Authorized Audit”—is the most efficient way to ensure Donezo’s progress. It is my hope that the pressure of your collective gaze will serve as a necessary stimulus for him to finally put that oversized axe to its proper use.
Throughout our journey, I shall post updates regarding our logistical milestones and various observations of the realm. Donezo will also be required to contribute his own reports. He is currently unaware of his “hired” status as a columnist, but I suspect the focused hum of my Nouliths will provide all the editorial guidance he needs to begin writing.
If you find the prospect of monitoring our journey worthwhile, you are invited to subscribe. We ask for no gil—only your assistance in holding Donezo accountable. Perhaps if he knows his “market value” is being watched, I will not have to drag him from his bed by his collar every morning.
Let us begin. I intend to see Donezo become the hero his potential dictates, no matter how much “optimization” I must personally oversee.